Inviting Children to a Wedding
Lee Asher
If you wish to include children in your wedding as either a ring bearer, a flower girl or by assigning them a task that helps them to feel included. Children can make a wonderful addition to any wedding but they also have the potential for livening up the wedding with unexpected antics. It is important to consider the age, maturity level and predictability of the child before deciding to include them in the wedding. Take care to follow these tips to help things run as smooth as possible and to make participating in your wedding a pleasurable experience for the child.
Let's be honest about this. To the average small child, weddings can be a complete bore. They have to spend hours hanging around in formal clothes. All this makes them very receptive to the general air of excitement around them - and this is when high spirits can take over. Certainly, inviting children to a wedding can cause problems. After all, a church service is not exactly designed as children's entertainment. The events of the day hardly fit in with their usual routine, their demands for attention are ignored and they're meeting strangers and people they haven't seen in years.
If you choose a very young child or a child that is particularly shy you may want to consider having their parent accompany them down the aisle so that they are not overwhelmed on the day of the wedding. Also, be prepared for the child to completely forget what they are supposed to do and don't allow their mistakes to put a damper on your wedding day. The odds are that if the child does not perform well, the other guests will simply laugh so feel free to laugh along with them and enjoy the pleasure that comes with including a child in your wedding.
One tip for including children in your wedding is to understand that children under a certain age may not be capable of performing a role in the wedding ceremony and that even if the child is old enough to understand what is required of them; there are no guarantees that they will complete their task on the wedding day. Try to choose a ring bearer and flower girl who are over the age of four and while the adult participants may only need to run through their part once, allow extra time for the child to practice their part several times.
Another tip for including children in your wedding is to try to really make it an experience that the child is looking forward to. One way to do this is to ask the child to participate in your wedding a few weeks in advance so that the child has time to really get excited about the idea and has a chance to tell their friends about how they are going to be in a wedding and wear a special outfit. Another way to get the child excited is to take them shopping for their wedding attire instead of choosing an outfit for them without their input. This helps to make the child feel as though their opinions are valued plus it lets them choose an outfit that they like and will look forward to wearing.
Still another tip for including children in your wedding is to have the photographer take any pictures that will include the children early in the photography session. While it is true that many children enjoy having their picture taking, they may grow impatient and irritable if they have to wait a long time to have their photos taken. Additionally, children are not used to standing still for a long time and will probably want to run and play which may result in rips or wrinkles in their wedding attire.
If the parents of the child are not in the wedding party you may want to ask one of the bridesmaids to assume responsibility for the child before the wedding, during the wedding and during the photography session so that the parents do not have to stay nearby and can enjoy the wedding and the cocktail hour. You might want to supply the bridesmaid with a small bag containing snacks and toys that will be useful in keeping the child occupied during times that may seem boring to them.
If you have a number of children in your family and want to include many of them one useful tip is to give each child a specific job. You may not be able to include all of your young friends or relatives as ring bearers or flower girls but you can give them each a task such as handing out wedding programs or bags of birdseed or placing the favors on the table at the reception. The children will feel important and you get to include them without adding length to the ceremony.
When including children in a wedding, it is important to understand that they may not do everything perfectly but you shouldn't get upset with them and should instead enjoy the fun that they bring to the wedding with their spirit and enthusiasm. Including children in your wedding can be a lot of fun but there are some precautions that should be taken. Following the tips in this article will help to ensure that the children are excited to participate in your wedding and are well prepared to do so.
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