Parents' Roles In A Wedding
Heather Greene
If you're a parent, your son or daughter's wedding day is the day that you've simultaniously dreaded and looked foward to ever since the day they were born. On one hand, you may be excited that your child is about to embark on a whole new life, on the other hand you may feel a sense of "losing" them to their new husband or wife and their family. Without a doubt, the next few months will be a busy, exciting, and emotional time for both you and the soon-to-be married couple, that's why we've created this special section on parental roles and what both parents and children should expect when planning a wedding.
MOTHER OF THE BRIDE DUTIES The mother of the bride (MOB) is usually very involved with the wedding day plans. In fact, we've heard more than one story about a MOB trying to take over her daughter's wedding. Moms, it's important to remember that this is really your daughter's special day and although she'll probably appreciate your suggestions and help, you should try to remember that this (hopefully) will be her only chance to plan the wedding of her dreams. Brides, just remember that your mom only wants the best for you and since she's probably paying for some of the wedding, she does deserve some imput. That being said, we've made a list of some common duties MOB's take on.
-Helping the couple select a ceremony and reception site, plus picking vendors.
-Helping the bride pick out her wedding gown.
-Contribute to guest list planning. In many cases, the MOB is the one in charge of the guest list and will need to consult with the couple and the groom's family about the list.
-Make sure you tell the Bride's relatives and family where the couple is registered if the MOH hasn't
-Talk to the MOG about your dress. Your dresses should compliment each others.
-Attend the bridal shower and rehearsal dinner. In many cases, the MOB helps plan the shower.
-You will sit in the first pew in a Christian ceremony or be present at the huppah in a Jewish ceremony. In a Jewish ceremony, both parents walk the Bride down the aisle.
-If there is a receiving line, you will probably be standing at the front of it.
-Generally support the bride as needed.
MOTHER OF THE GROOM DUTIES Years ago, most of the pre-wedding "Mom duties" were left up to the other of the Bride all the mother of the Groom (MOG) needed to do was show up at the ceremony looking pretty. Now in days though, MOGs are much more involved with the wedding, particularly when the groom is more involved in the planning.
-When the engagement is announced you should call the Bride's parents ASAP. If you live close to each other, you should definitely try to get together sometime soon.
-Offer to help with ceremony and reception site planning as well as vendor finding.
-If the Bride does not know your son's family well you should host a dinner or get together so she can get to know them better before the wedding.
-Make up a list of people you would like to invite to the wedding and consult with the couple and possibly the MOB about it (depending on who's organizing the guest list).
-If possible, attend the bridal shower.
-Make sure to tell the groom's relatives and friends where the couple is registered if the MOH has not.
-Talk to the MOB about your dress. Your dresses should compliment each others.
-Traditionally, the Groom's parents host the rehearsal dinner.
-In a Christian ceremony you will be seated in the first pew, in a Jewish ceremony you will escort your son down the aisle and stand with him at the huppah
-If there is a receiving line, you will be in it.
-Dance the mother/son dance at the reception.
-Be there for moral support.
FATHER OF THE BRIDE DUTIES For most dads, just thinking about their daughter's wedding day will make them get all choked up. This is a special day for your daughter and there's a lot you can do to make it even more special.
-The Bride's family is traditionally the one to foot the wedding bill. Many couples today are opting to at least pay a portion of the expenses though.
-Offer to help with ceremony and reception site planning.
-Don't know much about flowers or wedding cakes? Offer to help pick out the wedding music, food, or alcohol instead.
-Help out with out-of-town travel arrangements. The couple may need your help in giving guests directions, chauffering on the wedding day, and booking hotel rooms.
-Attend the rehearsal dinner. Many fathers give a speech to the groom at the rehearsal dinner.
-Travel to the ceremony site with your daughter. In both Christian and Jewish ceremonies the father of the bride traditionally escorts her.
-If there is a receiving line, you will stand beside your daughter.
-You may give a toast at the reception.
-Dance the father/daughter dance at the reception.
-Be there for moral support.
FATHER OF THE GROOM DUTIES Father of the Groom-- it's a role you almost never hear about when people talk about weddings, but that doesn't mean that you can't play an important role in your son's wedding.
-Your son may need advice about proposing, be sure to give him the support he needs.
-Once the engagement has been announced, be sure to welcome the Bride to your family and tell her how pleased you are that she will be part of it.
-Offer to help with ceremony and reception site planning.
-Ask the couple if the Father of the Groom or Best Man needs any help with travel arrangements for out of town guests.
-Traditionally, the Groom's family hosts the rehearsal dinner.
-In a Christian ceremony, you will sit in the first pew. In a Jewish ceremony you and the Groom's mother will escort the Groom down the aisle and stand at the huppah.
-If there is a receiving line, you will be in it.
-Make sure everyone is holding their liquor well and that the bar is either stocked or closed down (if too many people are getting out of control drunk).
-Be there for moral support.
About the author: Heather Greene is the head writer for Wedding Wonderful, a complete wedding planning web site at www.weddingwonderful.com.
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